Class

Because income alone is no longer a reliable indicator, here is Hazyshade's Controversial Post-Economic Guide To Determining Your Social Class.

Middle Class

You are genuinely polite, able to put people at ease, and willing to consider everyone’s point of view no matter how bad their grammar is. Your typical pastimes: volunteering at local charities (and giving money to them without telling anyone), shopping online, getting very responsibly pissed with your middle-class friends and waking up in each other's beds to the amusement of all concerned. You read: books (and get your news from the BBC). Your favourite non-car mode of transport: train.

Lower Middle Class

You are a shameless snob who does everything the propah way (the environmentally conscious way if you like to think of yourself as left-wing, or the moral way if ditto right-wing) and spend a lot of your time “nudging” people into doing likewise. Your typical pastimes: admiring your collections of dull ornaments, shopping at proper local boutiques, giving money to charity as visibly as possible to encourage everyone else to follow your example, correcting people’s grammar. You read: either the Guardian or the Torygraph, again depending on whether you like to think of yourself as left- or right-wing. Your favourite non-car mode of transport: bicycle (left) or feet, typically accompanied by dog (right).

(Needless to say, yours is the only social class that still believes the terms left- and right-wing actually mean something.)

Upper Working Class

You are a humble worker who takes pride in your work and are content with what you have, while still believing in your own capacity to improve both yourself and your immediate surroundings. You believe in living and letting live. Your typical pastimes: sitting around in pubs, shopping at good old-fashioned out-of-town megamalls, going to sporting events, doing the ironing with the radio on. You read: the Independent/i, or the Sun if you’re in the mood for amusing headlines and/or boobs. Your favourite non-car mode of transport: bus.

Working Class
You are a humble worker who drones on and on about rich bankers, political correctness gone mad, how Britain’s going to shit, and how no-one has any business trying to be something they’re not. Your typical pastimes: looking unimpressed, slagging off your boss, avoiding any physical contact with other working-class people in case it makes you either gay or a cheating scumbag/whore. You read: the Metro, the Daily Mail. Your favourite non-car mode of transport: taxi.

Upper Class
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