Games

In response to Ralph Pocketwatch, this is a complete list of every single video game that I own:

Theme Hospital (1997)
Commandos: Behind Enemy Lines (1998)
Imperialism II: Age of Exploration (1999)
Caesar 3 (1999)
SimCity 3000 (1999)
The Sims (2000)
Command and Conquer: Red Alert 2 (2000)
Black and White (2001)
Sonic Mega Collection Plus (2002)
Lemmings Revolution (2004)
Singles (2004) - it's supposed to be like the Sims but with added sexytimes. Don't judge me.
Football Manager 2007 (2006) - fine, you can judge me now :-P
Out of the Park Baseball 8 (2007)

What can we tell from this? Apart from the fact that, since the majority of them were first released over a decade ago, I'm clearly not that into modern games, and since there are only 13 of them, all for PC, I'm clearly not that into video games in general. I seem to big on creating, simulating and preserving (Lemmings) rather than charging around and destroying. First person shooters? Not so much. The only game where you get to directly control the firing of a gun is Commandos, and it's considered a last resort when all your distractions and booby traps have failed. And it's third person. I'm much more at home sneaking some kind of “units” around a map, pointing them at an object and saying, hey unit, go interact with that object in some way. An extension of the general principle behind chess, you could say.

There are other games that I play when I'm at the family home. FIFA 10, Madden NFL 10, NHL 2K11 (National Hockey League - that's the icy, violent variety of hockey played in North America, not the grassy, violent variety played in the Home Counties) and Wii Baseball. Me and my brother are particular fans of NHL 2K11 at present. And there's Guitar Hero, of course.

So I'll edit my earlier statement: I'm clearly not that into modern single-player games. I suppose that recently, my reaction when I've felt the urge to kill some time by myself in an activity that won't reeeally contribute anything to either my skills or my understanding of the world, is that I should maybe go interact with my girlfriend instead. (Then again, I'm quite happy sitting and reading my Kindle for five hours and making no attempt to distract her from her studies, so maybe it is just the games themselves that don't appeal.)

But multi-player games, I enjoy a lot. Multi-player games based on competitive physical sport, even more so, because cheering for your own players and hurling abuse at your opponents adds to the social experience, which is what I really want from a video game. I've played NHL 2K11 by myself, but only in training mode, and only so that I would improve to the point where my brother wouldn't hand me my arse on a plate every single game. Guitar Hero I will admit to playing slightly more than was strictly necessary to sharpen my competitive skills. But as a result, my left hand is noticeably faster around a piano keyboard that it used to be, so I'll call that a win.

I like games I can play in little chunks, too. One song in Guitar Hero, or one hockey match - and then, crucially, not feel like I'm under any pressure to come back and "complete" something, like I would be if I'd beaten the first mission of an Allied campaign. I think this is how casual gaming is defined by the people who define such things.

And then there's chess. Chess ticks the multi-player box, the abstract strategy box, and the little-chunks box - in particular, 1-minute internet chess. 1-minute internet chess is the reason I didn't get to bed until 2am the other night when I had work in the morning. If you find yourself losing a game of 1-minute internet chess, don't worry, you'll be out of your misery in a maximum of 120 seconds and then you'll have a new game to focus on. It's the ultimate in (so-called) casual gaming. Having said that it ticks the multi-player box, 1-minute internet chess is honestly not that much of a social experience - the conversation usually extends to pulling emoticon-faces and occasionally getting cussed out by some punk.

But it's chess, and therefore automatically worthwhile. Unlike Ralph, I never grew out of my chess obsession. Being good at chess confers real-life brownie points in a way that being good at Football Manager doesn't. In fact in my brain, taking part in the chess subculture by running the Northumbria league and website is a seamless extension of taking part in it by pushing the pieces around. (Perhaps "chess subculture" is a future blog post.) I love chess to such an extent that I quite frequently hate it.

Other, similar board games that I've had the opportunity to become absorbed in, I mark down because they're not chess. The likes of draughts, Othello, Scrabble, mahjong, OSECA - losing at them is dead boring, but learning how to play them well would use the same parts of my brain as chess, and they're not chess, so in general I give them the swerve. Similarly, tabletop RPGs: the role-playing is fun, but I'm not turned on by either the mechanics or the fantasy settings and I don't want to spend the time becoming good enough at them to enjoy them more. That and the fact that they go on for freakin' ever.

So to summarise: suggest me a game that I can play with my brothers, is a simulation of something or involves creativity, can be put down after 10 minutes, and is the complete opposite of chess?